Product Description Control Freaks exasperate us. They are present in our families, at work, in our churches, and sometimes in ourselves. If we can identify the Control Freaks in our lives, we can begin to understand them and cope with them. The result will be a healthier emotional life and stronger and more effective relationships. This book is for everyone who knows a Control Freak--or is one! It will help you discover how God gives us grace to deal with difficult people and to face our own need to control.
WWWWAAYYYY Too much god talkMarch 31, 2008 5 out of 6 found this review helpful
Entirely too much god talk for me. Telling people to relinquish control by realizing god is the only one who can control everything? Not sufficiently in-depth for my taste.
It's helping meOctober 3, 2006 3 out of 3 found this review helpful
A good book, especially if YOU are the control freak. I'm still working at it; it's a day-to-day struggle to realize that overcontrolling only hurts those you love.
Good readMarch 29, 2006 11 out of 11 found this review helpful
I picked up this book becuase I had problems with a few control freaks in my life. Reading it gave me a new perspective on why people control and how wide the scope can be. I'm also shocked to realise that a person like myself who's struggling with control freaks also has some control issues. Ironical as it sounds, Les is right to say that "it takes one to know one".
I'll recommend this book to anyone who's dealing with controlling people in their lives. It also provides suggestions on ways to improve those relationships.
Very HelpfulMarch 14, 2005 13 out of 16 found this review helpful
As a person who deals with numerous control freaks, and who possesses the traits myself, I can appreciate Parrot's advice here for handling folks who refuse to do things any other way than their way. I can also appreciate his tips for tempering the control freak within me. His words are candid, thoughtful, and enlightening.
This book is a good read for anyone who interacts a great deal with people. Strained relationships can be mended and strengthened by taming the control freaks around us, and most importantly the control freak within us.
A Handbook for Dealing with Pushy, Domineering PeopleDecember 22, 2004 37 out of 38 found this review helpful
Les Parrott is a Christian psychology professor and author of several best sellers. He is well-known in the Christian community and is the founder and co-director of the Center for Relationship Development at Seattle Pacific University.
I have found Dr. Parrott's writings very useful in my ministry for adult children of abusive or controlling birth-families, Luke 17:3 Ministries. In this book, Dr. Parrott teaches us how to recognize a control freak and discusses their top ten characteristics- obnoxious, tenacious, invasive, obsessive, perfectionist, critical, irritable, demanding, rigid, and closeminded.
A Control Freak has little respect for privacy and snoops in areas that aren't her business. It doesn't matter how illogical his argument or how insignificant his point, he won't let go. He often zeroes in on some minor detail and doesn't care about the big picture. Compromise is unspeakable- she is right and everybody else is wrong. She sets standards you never agreed to live by. Anything and everything is cause for a tantrum. He will make ridiculous demands and insist or coerce you into doing things his way. He uses criticism as a terrific tool to get people to do what he wants them to.
There is a Control-Freak Self-Test which will tell you if you know a control-freak. Yes or No questions include: If something isn't exactly to this person's liking, he or she reflexively points it out- even at the risk of embarrassing others; It seems that winning an argument is more important to this person than finding the best solution; and If this person doesn't get what he or she wants, you can count on a good display of anger, pouting, or the silent treatment.
The WADIT Principle is explained in a grimly humorous way. We continue forever to do something silly that doesn't make sense because of the WADIT Principle- because that is the way We Always Did It.
Various types of Control-Freaks are discussed, as well as how to cope with them, including chapters on The Pushy Parent and The Invasive In-Law. Each chapter includes a self-test so you can see if you have a Pushy Parent or Invasive In-Law. Setting boundaries, saying "No", forgiveness, identifying your own reactive style, and making decisions are all discussed. We are also taught how to tame our own controlling tendencies.
This is a very interesting and informative book for those with controlling family members, or other controlling people in their lives, and I highly recommend it.
