Is it your lying, cheating ex-husband? Your sadistic high school gym teacher? Your boss who loves to humiliate people in meetings? The colleague who stole your idea and passed it off as her own?
In the pages of The Sociopath Next Door, you will realize that your ex was not just misunderstood. He’s a sociopath. And your boss, teacher, and colleague? They may be sociopaths too.
We are accustomed to think of sociopaths as violent criminals, but in The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people—one in twenty-five—has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in twenty-five everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt.
How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes sociopaths more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They’re more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others’ suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win.
The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know—someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for—is a sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath is beckoning, do not join the game.
It is the ruthless versus the rest of us, and The Sociopath Next Door will show you how to recognize and defeat the devil you know.
even the over-simplifications are flawedDecember 28, 2008 1 out of 6 found this review helpful
This book loses credibility by offering a fictional example of a "sociopath" who impersonates a psychologist. Most sociopaths are unable to even hold a job, never mind, perform a professional role. Every human is imperfect, thus, crime does not indicate someone is a sociopath. What, then does differentiate the sociopath from ordinary criminals, n'ere do wells and generic meanies? The key factor is the sociopath lacks the capacity to feel remorse or empathy. The author fails to educate the reader to that essential fact. This publication disappoints in two arenas. It is neither entertaining nor informative. Another book I would recommend is "The Killing Fields" by Joseph Wambaugh, a former policeman. He defines sociopathy and engages the reader with an enjoyable style.
Very InformativeDecember 23, 2008 1 out of 1 found this review helpful
This book was amazing. The author has extensive knowledge of the subject and does an excellent job of presenting the material in an easy to understand format for the lay person. Everyone should read this book. The author gives very practical, easy to follow guidelines for how to deal with a sociopath in our day to day environment. This is great information to share with teenagers as they grow and are learning about who the can and cannot trust. We will be going over this book with all four of our teenagers! Thankyou for a practical and well written guide!
DifferenceDecember 6, 2008 0 out of 2 found this review helpful
Is it possible that sociopaths exist? Being sociopathic means there is no intervening sense of moral obligation. Anything becomes possible. In the case of a sociopath, there is a failure of emotional attachment. The author believes four percent of the population has sociopathic traits.
Sociopaths speak of feeling empty, hollow. The author retells the outcome of the Milgram experiments. It shows that the majority of subjects will obey legitimate authority. Conscience doesn't come into play. Nonetheless, it has been learned that human beings are not natural killing machines.
Most criminals are not sociopaths. Sociopaths are unable to express emotional experience. Narcissism is a failure of empathy, not of conscience. Sociopathy does resemble attachment disorder.
One person married to a sociopath ended up wishing that she and her newborn son could just be alone. Her sister told her the man didn't have a relationship with his son, he had a relationship with her house. A sitter found the person unsettling. He didn't look at his new son.
Acting ruthlessly does not bring a fair share of good things. The case that sociopaths exist is strong. This is an interesting book.
The mediocre book next doorDecember 5, 2008 2 out of 3 found this review helpful
Martha Stout's book succeeds in presenting a clear, thorough picture of the sociopath: a person whose utter lack of moral restraint allows them to engage in a broad range of despicable behaviors. After reading this book, you should have a better understanding of how a typical sociopath behaves. You may even find yourself diagnosing some of your acquaintances and making a mental note to steer clear of them in the future. Despite presenting a clear image of the average sociopath, this book falls short of greatness in a few areas.
Although Stout briefly touches on the ideas of evolutionary psychology and natural selection, she doesn't seem to grasp how the psychopath has been able to achieve such prominence in our society. When most people in a cooperative group (like a society) are honest and decent, it creates opportunities for cheaters to exploit the system. Stout is so driven by sentimentality and idealism that she seems unwilling to accept one of the simple truths about sociopaths: in the right environment, their ruthless strategy can be wildly successful. Stout is so caught up with "how things should be" that she loses sight of "how things are."
This one particular nitpick is part of a larger, overarching flaw: Stout just doesn't have the intellectual firepower needed to do justice to her fascinating subject matter. Whereas a psychologist like Pascal Boyer delves deep into his topic and hesitates to take leaps of faith based on feelings and knee-jerk reactions, Stout is all too quick to fill this book with her own biased emotional reactions and whimsical half-baked ideas about right and wrong.
Basically, the real value of this book lies in its first-hand accounts of actual sociopath behaviors. The stories about some of the psychopaths Stout encountered in her lengthy career are pretty gripping. But when Stout tries to apply her own ideas to her subject matter, she comes off as uninformed, naive, and excessively sentimental.
This is a decent book worth a read as a cautionary tale of hucksters and leeches, but it's not the definitive work on sociopaths.
Excellent source of informationDecember 1, 2008 3 out of 3 found this review helpful
Dr. Stout has written a very worthwhile book that is informative, useful, and dense in information. I have purchased six copies (at least) to give friends and relatives whom I felt could benefit from the information presented. Considering that only about four percent of the population is believed to have no concience, it is my opinion that "The Sociopath Next Door" presents a likely explaination for some of the pointles, damaging, and outlandish behaviors I have observed in others (including public figures)on occcasion.
